Map of Africa
Posted under: I’m very surprised I never hear any mention of this album, Map of Africa by Map of Africa. I’ve had it a couple of years now and it’s been my staple driving album all that time. I’m not too sure what makes good driving music but this is great in the car.
It’s psychedelic funky rock, but I’d bet my bottom dollar these guys earned their chops on the electronic side of the park before going anywhere near a guitar or microphone. For some reason it always reminds me of Apocalypse Now; just as he’s chugging down the river, with strange birds chirping and something other lurking in the shadows, this would be the perfect soundtrack.
The lyrics sizzle too;
Dirty Lovin’
“Once or maybe twice a day
Dirty lovin’ baby it’s okay,
I like it straight around the bend,
Enough for me and both my friends”Plastic Surgery
And I look more like my daugther
Then a dirty old man oughta
Cos I’ve had plastic surgery
These aren’t the best two tracks, they’re the only two I could find.
Not much about them on the web, their myspace page is as dead as their record label.
Spot the frisbee
Spot the frisbee I’m waiting to catch, by leaving a letter/number comment and win a special prize. The frisbee has been digitally removed by a hoard of rare golden photoshop monkeys.
NB: Special prize may be one of three dead Bonsai threes. Or a half eaten book on how to keep Bonsai trees alive.
UPDATE:
Ok, here the original image.
The answer was D16. Thanks for playing! Alex was the closest with D17. I’ll put you down for an IOU pint.
Party’s over
Update: This clip wasn’t available at the time but someone put it up recently. Maybe this post will make sense now. A classic scene from 80′s teens.
Uh, what’s this, sir?
Drink it.
That’s a very sweet thought, but I really don’t – Until now! See you guys in the emergency room.
Pretty lady, what’s a beautiful broad like you – doing with a malaca like this?
It’s purely sexual.
No shit.
She’s into malacas, Dino.
Ha ha ha ha ha! She’s into malacas!
Do you believe that? Ha ha ha ha ha!
You can say that again!
Fats, man, let me tell you my story, man.
Last year, I was insane for this crazy little th-grade bitch.
Crazy insane?
Insane?
Crazy?
I was nuts for the woman, man.
I’m tellin’ the truth here.
I was nuts for the girl.
She had big titties.
She wouldn’t have had to worry about no titties
for the rest of her life.
That’s the truth.
I called her every night for like a month.
Every damn night?
Every night, Mitch.
On the telephone?
What’s this boy talkin’ about, on the telephone?
Explain it to him.
We know there’s a telephone.
But he hung up on her.
The chick with those big titties?
You know what the bitch did to me?
Lay it on me.
Listen…
She kneed you in the nuts.
She did what?
Bitch kneed your nuts?
Bitch kneed my nuts!
In the family jewels?
In the family jewels, man.
Broke my heart in two.
She broke more than your heart.
Forget that other one.
You got this fine jewel sitting by you.
Ain’t that the truth, baby?
That’s the plain truth!
Party’s over.
Party’s over, says the girl.
Remember to floss kids!
Not sure this makes for an interesting blog post but it’ll take my mind off it for the next ten minutes. I’ve had the most horrible few days and nights. Started getting a pain in my tooth on Friday. It got worse. Insanely so. It got me up early Saturday and Sunday. I think that’s the last time I slept.
I spent the entirety of last night pacing back and forth, moaning and groaning, trying to distract myself with movies when I could stay still, and the Wii when I couldn’t. I’ve never known such a severe unrelenting pain. I’m pretty sure removing the lower half of my face would be less painful.
I went through three boxes of painkillers over the weekend and they did nothing. I coldnt wait for the long weekend to be over. I got an emergency dentist appointment this morning, or make that yesterday morning if you’ve had a night’s sleep. Half of my mouth has an infection. So antibiotics and hardcore Ponstan are the order of the day, that’s more like it.
But even the Ponstan just take the edge for a little while though. This is fucking crazy insane pain. I can’t sit still or stop grimacing. Yesterday I seemed to develop Tourrettes; randomly shouting, clapping, banging my feet, pulling faces. Anything to try and distract from the pain. And exhaustion.
I thought I’d be out cold tonight not having slept a wink last night. I thought I wouldn’t be able to keep my eyes open. But nope. Here I am again, day 5, in the house of pain, 3:50am, wandering around like a sleep deprived zombie. I’ve already taken two days worth of Ponstan tonight.
Oddly enough, I haven’t been out of work yet. I managed the best part of a day’s work yesterday when I got back from the dentist. The distraction of working, when I could bear it, was as good as any other. Of course I couldn’t handle this if I worked in a regular office and not from a home office. Imagine me in a regular office; walking around grimacing, randomly barking over the pangs of pain and rocking back and forth at my desk. No, that wouldn’t do.
And here’s the thing. I went to the dentist with the exact same complaint 3 years agao, and he referred me to a specialist to have it removed. I was on a waiting list all that time and now I’m back on it! Wtf!? So hopefully the Antibiotics will clear the infection up soon enough (again!).
Well that killed twenty minutes. Might as well publish it. Then I’ll get back to the zombie shuffle. Or I might writhe around the bed for a few more hours wondering if when I can take more Ponstan. Woe is me etc etc…
Smile of a stranger
Book in hand I open the front door and the sun burns a smile on to my face. I glance to the left as I lock the door and catch the eye of a guy walking down the terrace path. He’s young, early twenties, not Irish, maybe Polish. I turn to the right and head to the canal for my hour of solace. His footsteps behind me are silent, like mine, the Nike generation.
I cross the road, one turn left, one turn right and I am alone on the street that leads to the canal. As I cross a final road, a guy appears from the right and walks in front of me. He’s young, early twenties, not Irish, maybe Polish. He stops at a door and turns to the right as he inserts the key. He catches my eye and smiles. I smile back, and nod to acknowledge the joke of our mirrored exchange.
He’s younger than I thought I ponder. Give him a few more years and he’ll stop smiling at strangers. Strangers who will easily, and understandably miss such subtleties, and strangers who will think him strange for smiling. But I cherish the moment, and the canal is all the more soothing that day.
Moon
I got to see a few new releases recently that didn’t involve (kill me, kill me now) talking animals. Here’s my Bruno summary: very funny in places, but a bit too staged in others. I saw it, laughed, left forgot it – but now keep hearing much bullshit on the radio. Surely anyone who saw the Borat movie knew to expect more shock value toilet humour? I can’t believe some of the debates I’ve been hearing on the radio. Missing all the points, guys ‘n gals.
Anyway, I saw moon last night and it’s really quite good. Gorgeous space opera cinematography and perfect set design, you just can’t go wrong with retro-white interiors. The difference between a film that looks great and a film with great special effects is a deep deep chasm.
Moon owes much to the sci-fi classics, particularly 2001: A Space Odyssey but this time’round Hal is called Gerty and sports hilarious Emoticons. Though on the opening scene I was reminded more of Alien and Bladerunner. Dingey, dirty, used. One of the best ideas in the design of Bladerunner is that the future isn’t new, it’s very old, and filthy. Ancient buildings crumbling everywhere. Moon isn’t *that* crumbly – but things you’d expect to be used and scuffed are, unlike those crisp clean space suits you’re used to seeing.
So Moon is taking notes in all the right places. And Sam Rockwell is perfect. I’ve always liked him but he seems to either do bit parts, or stars in films that don’t quite cut it. Great to see him in a role like this.
Here’s something I’ve just realised; I think sci-fi TV and movies can be quite shit in general – yet a lot of my favourite movies are sci-fi, reminding me that the only relevant genres are good and bad. The good sci-fi movies are one’s that are more about the human condition than all that whizz bang rocket blast boof boff bullshit.
I’ve just read one other review of Moon, and they have it nailed on cinematical, and I also agree with their closing line “I can’t quite say I think Moon is knock-me-down, you-gotta-see-this brilliant; at the same time, I can say I’m still thinking about it, and in an age when most big-budget science fiction films are made by people with no respect for science or fiction, it’s a welcome pleasure.“
Rude boy rock
Speaking of things that look like things, I noticed this rock by a stream in St. Annes park recently.
Count me out
A friend of mine became a hero when he told me the lengths he went to to officially leave the catholic church years ago. That makes it sound like he was a priest. Nope, the Church still count you as a catholic, regardless of the fact you have since started writing atheist, jew or jedi on your census form.
To be no longer counted as a catholic he had to jump through several hoops, being passed up the ranks from one dog collar to the next and eventually to an archbishop or bishop who told him to come back when he was 16, which he did, and eventually got stricken from the records!
Well now there’s a new web site to make the whole process much easier. Whoever set this up, you’re my new hero;
Count me out.
p.s. Have a think about the notion that they deemed him to young to make that decision at first. The hypocracy is stunning.
Breaking news: stuff that looks like normal people!
Reports have started coming in of objects that look like regular people. We don’t yet know if it’s some crazy coincidence or just a whole new way of thinking. Jessie Swinson, of Milwalkee US took a bite of her Kit Kat when she suddenly noticed an image of a man with a beard. “I showed it to Jed and said now if that isn’t the spit of Jake from the post office than I don’t like to suck molasses!” – “And you don’t think it looks like Jesus?” we asked. “No no no, it’s Jake alright. Any it’d just be damned stupid to call every image of a bearded man Jesus.”
And in a similar story, Mary Heath-Vehorn bought this watermelon at the Farmer’s Market in Asheville, North Carolina. It wasn’t until she got it home that she noticed her cousin Joshua right there on the melon. “Other people have suggested that it’s Jesus to me but I don’t know I mean I never met this Jesus guy, but cousin Joshua passed on recently, and I think it’s his way of making up for never visiting me.”
Meanwhile, some morons in Limerick, Ireland are congregating around a tree stump that hardly looks like a woman, never mind ‘Our Lady’. Shopkeeper Séamus Hogan says “People have been coming from Kerry and Clare to see this tree, which we believe shows a clear outline of Our Lady,”.
Jesus wept.
It rubs the lotion on its skin
I love this. Take some great quotes from a great film for the lyrics, and use the scenes from the film for the music video. I stumbled across this years ago, and just again recently.
Gran Torrino
Gran Torrino – worst movie title in ages. I avoided like swine flu until I realised it wasn’t starring Vin Diesel jumping rooftops in a fast car.
Watched it last weekendand it’s jam packed with all the racial movie cliches you can think of. Like the all time classic “Racist guy whos’ good guy at heart and not really racist at all” and their was a brieft cameo from “white boy who likes to get down with the homies but is actually a total dork“.
But despite all that I still really enjoyed it, Clint is an especially amusing grumpy old man who had me chuckling away. He breaths some life into a predictable scribe with every cackley rasp.
He still hasn’t bettered Unforgiven by a long mile though. Now THAT is a movie.
Cheeky little fecks
*Knock knock*
Three young wans: D’you wanna to buy a line mister?
Me: Erm, how much?
Fiver
Fiver!? What’s it for?
Erm – it’s for charidee.
Right, no sorry don’t have a fiver.
D’you have 3 euro?
Let’s see – no actually I don’t seem to have any money at the moment.
LIAR!
*SLAM*
Facebook 419 Scam
Had a bit of high drama today. My Facebook account got hacked by a scammer. I got an email from Facebook asking me to confirm the change to my email address. I knew straight away I’d been hacked. When I followed the link to cancel the email change, I couldn’t log in to Facebook.
I thought that shit only happened to other people!
While I was scrambling around trying to find the best way of reporting it, The ‘other me’ was busy chatting to all my Facebook friends telling them that I’d been mugged at gunpoint in London and I was compeltely freaked and needed money to pay for my hotel and a flight home. The funny thing is I never chat, so it took me a minute to even notice the chat window after I got control of my Facebook again (took about 3 hours after I reported it).
Unfortunately I didn’t think to save all the chat histories straight away, they seem to disappear when people close Facebook. One friend said the scammer got quite aggressive when she asked him how I/he knew her. Another friend sent me an email asking me something unrelated, trying to figure out if the other one was me or not, (sounds like an episode of Star Trek, with two William Shatner’s fighting each other – and you only know the real one by the hammiest acting).
Another friend, who had his suspicions right from the start sent on his chat which was amusing enough;
hi Ray
hey john, need help with…?
Yes
I’m stuck in London England
I feel your pain
well…I had a visit to a resort in London and i got mugged
no way
it was so scary and i have been freaked out
where are you now?
I lodged in a hotell but im in a library as we speak
I have contacted the Irish Embassy but they told me to get a flight ticket back to Ireland
the problem now is that the cash i got on me for my return ticket got stolen….
I need your help?
you want me to buy a London to Dublin ticket for you?
Don’t bother about that…you can just have the money sent to me and I’ll sort everything out by myself
you want me to wire you cash?
Yes
Reason…I got to settle the hotel bills and the hotel accept cash for now cos their credit card machine is faulty
so where should I send the money?
alright…you can have it sent to my name and my present location
John Braine….United Kingdom
do I not need more details?
you don’t need more…that is all you need
Do you know any western union outlet nearest to you?
how do I send it, western union or something?
sure…Western Union
I don’t need to give an office number, or anything like that?
you don’t need that
how will I know if it gets to you?
as soon as you have sent the money, they will issue you a confirmation
so you will send me the confirmation and I’ll use it to pick up the money at the western union outlet
cool
okay
Do you know any western union outlet nearest to you?
it will probably be a few hours, I’ll have to go on my lunch
okay
when will you be back? cos i might not be online on FB…
you can just drop me a message via email address
here’s my email address below
cool
okay
How much can you afford to loan me?
200 euros?
I need 500 euros…
I promise to return it as soon as im back in town
I think I’ll get a ham sandwich for lunch
Slane, the Facebook verdict
This always makes me laugh. Two consecutive & conlicting items in my Facebook feed:
Psychoville
I was a total League of Gentleman fanboy. Best thing on telly on years. There’s been plenty of decent comedy over the years but it’s just that added twist of the macabre that really made it. And the characters were brilliant, otherworldly yet all too familiar. I did this little project a few years ago using a scene from the League of Gentlemen movie, and while this photo was taken I uttered the revered catchphrase You’re my wife now. So I’ve earned my fanboy stripes.
Well they’re back! With Psychoville. Well, two of the three gentlemen are back, it’s a pity Mark Gatiss is absent. The first episode was on last night it was off to a good start. It’s the same style as League of Gentlemen, great characters, great set design, with just a dose more ‘murder, mystery, suspense!’. Of the new characters, I think the scary clown is a bit obvious – my favourites are David and Maureen, a mummy and her special little boy in an altogether wholesome relationship.
The first episode was a good opener for a long running story and I can’t wait to see where it goes.
BBC2 10pm Every Thursday.
Friday links
- Biggest fish ever caught with a fishing rod, a 6 gilled shark. WOWZA!
- For some reason, the most amusing photoshop disasters involve race. There was that time the Sun removed a Rasta dude from a boat, this week meet token he’s FUN!
- If you like movies, there’s a great game on the Empire site, very nicely done.
- One “Elizabeth J Becton” no less, goes crazy paranoid after someone calls her Liz in an email. Hi liz!
- I was pondering buying a hamster, now I just have to get one, no ifs no maybes.
- Mike Tyson is in that new Hangover movie. I didn’t add his 3 frames to my previous post, but I did give him some maracas.
3 frames
This is one from the I wish I’d thought of that but it’s still fun to copy category: Take 3 frames from a movie and make an animated gif.
If you’re going to have a go, don’t go looking for your favourite old movies on youtube, it’s harder to do, and doesn’t look half as good, go for the HD Apple trailers.
Begrudgery
Ever see a stereotype played out to such perfection, that it’s almost comical? Almost. Take this display of begrudgery for instance.
Loud drunk asshole in Chipper:
“So I’ve taken up acting, yes I’m very grand indeed”.
Guy from Fair City, also doing a great job in The Shawshank play;
[Solemly waits for his chips].
Loud drunk asshole in Chipper:
“I’ve started working in the Gaeity recently, I am so much better than all of you”.
Guy from Fair City, also doing a great job in The Shawshank play;
[Solemnly waits for his chips].
Loud drunk asshole in Chipper:
“Oh I love the sound of my own voice, love to shout it from a stage”. (The irony is completely lost on him)
Guy from Fair City, also doing a great job in The Shawshank play;
[Gets his chips, pays politely and leaves quietly]
Loud drunk asshole in Chipper:
[Shouts some direct insults at the guy]
Nope, no begrudgery in ireland, don’t know what you’re talking about, stop that stereotyping.
Small ad
Phone John on 08755555555.
The Tale of how
Stunning animation by the Black Heart Gang, almost looks like a Bosch or Brueghel painting brought to life. The making of is well worth a look too. It’s only one part of a three part series, you can buy the whole package as a book / dvd.
The Tale of How from Shy the Sun on Vimeo.
Sleepies
I always manage to make use of the sketchbook at least once on the summer hols.
A hero speaks
I can’t believe this only has 1000 or so views on youtube. Everyone should see this. Michael O’Brien unleashes a heartfelt anger on questions and answers expressing the rage that the nation are feeling. I don’t think I could do this issue justice without resorting to spitting, fuming and cursing. I am absolutely outraged at every aspect of this. How does one organise a nationwide march? How the goverment and The Catholic Church in Ireland are dealing this will place them in history alongside the Holocaust.
Watch, vent, cry, pass on.
Bye Blogger!
Have been meaning to move from the piece of shit Blogger over to WordPress for ages now. The only thing that was delaying me was that I wanted to re-design the whole site but could just never get around to it. So I grabbed the irrestable theme instead. It’ll sure do for now. I think most things are working but I’ll probably be tinkering with it for a while. Hope the feed is working as it was, guess we’re just about to find out…
Dance wiv me
You know when you’re flicking through your camera and you see two shots that were taken in quick succession and it looks like a little animation and you sit there for a while making the people dance? No!? well I’m always at it. Thought I’d add some music to this one…
Le Cool
It’s been a while since I’ve had any interest in gig listings filling in my inbox. But I’ve just subscribed to a new email weekly listing called Le Cool that’s not just music; comedy, family events, movies, arty stuff and any other cultural events. Check it out / subscribe at lecool.com/cities/dublin.
Disclaimer: Wouldn’t post if I didn’t like it but yes I do know one of the promoters. And he’s one of the friendliest people I know. And that get’s extra bonus points from me.
5 Great music videos featuring robots
Bjork – All is full of love
Secta Chameleon – More than a feelin’
Flight of the Conchords – The humans are dead
Beck – Hell yes
Herbie Hancock – Rockit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nK0Pi4wC8Hk
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