A couple of freaky creatures have popped up in the last couple of days.
This creature was apparently found washed ashore at Montauk:
LOLed over at Irish stu
And this thing was caught trying to escape from the big brother house:
Fully story over at Fat Mammy Cat.
There's a little gem doing the rounds on city channel at the moment. Keep an eye out for the Oxegen coverage that's currently on a loop. At one point Ray Shah is interviewing Alphabeat. It goes a little something like this:
Ray Shah: So three of the band members are called Anders. How to you know which is which? Do you say Anders1, Anders2, and Anders3?
Anders1: We use our Surnames.
Labels: random
I have a confession. I'm an avid internet user but I despise chat. Am I alone? I dropped into Facebook a while ago and a chat window popped up. "WASSUP Dude?!" said a guy I used to work with but don't know from Adam. "Gaaaaah!!" said I, in my head like. I wish Faceache had given me some warning so I could have turned off the chat option straight away. Which I did. Right after saying WASSUP!? or something.
Admittedly like many I was briefly addicted to mIRC 12 or so years ago, and ran up some scary dial-up bills. But the insane thrill of chatting to someone from a different country quickly turned into an inane trill. When the giddiness wore off, all that was left was mundane chatter and people slapping each other with trouts, which was then the equivalent of being bitten by a vampire, except back then then you actually typed *Braines slaps VirtualGurl72 with a trout*. (Note: To be properly affiliated with the old school, you have to mention that you used to have to type lots of stuff to produce an action achieved by just clicking a mouse in this modern age). The attraction of slapping someone with a trout made about as much sense then, as virtual vampires do now. I have to admit, the Top Chat Quotes of All Time mostly gleaned from mIRC is well worth a gander now and then for some geek humour.
When ICQ was all the rage, I gave it a whirl but hated it, and uninstalled it quicker than you can say "Oh, I SEEK YOU! I get it!". I briefly tried Instant Messenger some time after, thinking for some reason that it may be less annoying. It's not just that I'm above the inane chatter in my lofty towers of deep thought. It's those windows popping up all over the place when I'm trying to do something else of great importance. A disturbing attempt at doing a comedy sketch for example.
I'll do my best to avoid the usual sexual stereotyping in saying this - but I am actually pretty useless at multitasking - and even more so when I've no control over the amount of windows popping up all over the place. I really don't like lots of little windows. Not sure why. Maybe it was that brief stint in San Quentin. I also fret over chat etiquette much more than is necessary, which in itself is very distracting. "Can I close that window now?", "How long do I have to wait?" "Do I say goodbye first?". Nerve-shattering dilemmas I'm sure you'll all agree.
When Gmail chat came along, I tried again. My list of contacts who were using chat was small enough so all was well with the world. People chatted to me with purpose. When the purpose had been purported, the chat was ended. Neat. But then the chit chatters began to emerge."Yo John, what's the story?"... "Well, I was working but I'll be spending the next ten minutes wondering exactly how soon I can close this window." (Apologies if you actually understand what the word purported means. I only looked it up after I abused it.)
I suppose a part of this is the fact that I'm not that good at chit chat in real life. I love a good old chin wag - and have friends I'll happily listen to for hours. But bored hairdressers fill me with dread. And bumping into a co-worker I barely know on a long commute fills me with utter terror. An hour of small talk!!? I actually shivered just now. I also have a relative who, without fail, starts every conversation with "What's the story?". I'm never sure which story to tell. No - not good at the chit chat.
Myself and the missus have tried turning on chat now and then rather than sharing 40 emails to sort out some domesticalities, and profess our undying love of course. But we both get bombarded with chit chatters and run screaming, vowing never to turn chat on again, ever. It's a bit like vowing never to drink wine then beer (in that order) - but not a fraction of the fun.
And the jury's still out on Twitter. Ok it's not live chat but it can get a bit chatty from what I've seen. Although none of it is directly to me, so that's ok. It's an odd sort of chatter. Like having a pint and listening in on the next table. A happy medium in both senses of the phrase. Maybe. I'm still trying to get into the swing of it.
By the way, I'm not talking about YOU in all of this. No no no. You and I had meaningful conversations. It was all those other guys firing up too many windows with the chit chat.
Consecutive Facebook updates from two different friends which I found amusing:
Save yourself money, queing and stabbing by staying one version behind the posse! As Grand Theft Auto IV hits the streets for a half a ton, I just nabbed a copy of GTA3 on ebay for a fiver. You gotta picka pocket, or two.
Labels: random
I was called up for jury service this week. The first thing anyone said to me when I mentioned it is “If you want out get out of it just blah blah blah”. What’s that all about? While not exactly a barrel of laughs, I thought it’d be a really interesting life experience. I didn’t try and get out of it - but I have to admit I was having second thoughts on the day. It’s all fairly unnerving, or at least it is for people like me who are easily unnerved by certain situations.
After a lengthy roll call of about 200 possible jurors, and some brief instruction on the day, Justice Carey arrived, and straight off the cuff ran through a summary of the current case. I didn’t even see the defendant arrive but all of a sudden I was listening to grisly details of a man accused of murdering his brother in a knife and hatchet fight. So I peaked over the rail and sure enough there he was with his head in his hands. It only struck me then that this is the central criminal court and it was all going to be very serious shit. I saw three different people who were accused of murder.
I couldn’t believe the amount of people around me cracking jokes or noisily reading papers. I felt like nudging the guy beside me and saying “Look, that’s tomorrow’s news right in front of you, right there!” When the jury were sent off to reach a verdict (they found him guilty of manslaughter), it was our turn.
The atmosphere was unbelievably tense. Nerve bugs like me feed off that shit. I was feeling more nervous then the new defendants that had just strolled in. Jury names were picked out of a hat and people filed up to the jury box where they were either sworn in, rejected (by prosecution or defence team), or shouted up that they had a holiday in a couple of weeks. A few people seemed to get cold feet and copied the holiday idea. I was surprised at how many people swore on almighty god. Not one person requested to attest. I guess when you’re surrounded by peers, it’s easy to forget the general populace still go through the motions of Catholicism (or are actual believers).
My name wasn’t called for either of the two new cases. Both would have ran for at least four weeks and both were murder cases; the guy who allegedly grabbed the steering wheel of a car, causing the death of a bloke who he argued with in a club earlier. And the other case was a guy who casually pleaded guilty to an attempted murder with a sawn off shotgun in Stillorgan. Nice. Imagine the amount of waffle I’d write if I actually ended up on the jury.
Labels: jury service, random
I saw a Kangaroo Dog in the Metro today. I couldn't find a photo on the interweb though. So I made my own. The one I saw was born with back legs only and hopped about like Skippy. Turns out there is actually a type of dog called a Kangaroo Dog. According to kangaroodog.org it's the first Australian breed ever created. As you were...
What happens when you give a four year old half a banana while you're trying to make pancakes? He thows it into the batter of course, you were just asking for it.
Result? An accidental banana pancake. Score!
Mmmmmm banana pancake hhghghfhhffnnn.
Labels: random
Ever play Wallet Top Trumps? The rules are simple: you have to be in the pub having already consumed one too many ales and already talking shit. Then you start pulling random shit out of your wallet. Best shit wins. That's it.
I just came across an old wallet that was lost and since returned. Was most chuffed to get it back, as it I thought I'd lost a few Top Trumps.
I picked these up in some fast food place in New Jersey post 9-11. They're like those wet wipe things you get on planes. The text on the back reads KARI-OUT will donate a portion of the proceeds from the sale of this fresh nap to charities for the attack on America. I didn't know there were charities that funded terrorism.
My favourite bits are:
"This stepping meter can only count correctly under the flat plant"
"Under the following conditions, the stepping meter can't count correctly: (i)Moon Walking, Wearing Sandal (ii) When walking in the tricky condition."
And just when you thought I'd dealt my top trump with some classic Engrish, I'd whip out my get out of jail card. Also picked up in New Jersey. It's a business card from a bail bondsman.
Can you top that?
Labels: random
How come you hear people going on about everyday views, like the view of Killiney bay from the dart, yet no one ever talks about the absolutely amazing views you often see from a plane. I sometimes think everyone tries to be too grown up. You hear kids on planes going "Wow - look at all the clouds!" while the all-so-grown-up folk snort and tut at their unsophisticated excitement. Planks.
I'm currently botched up in a hotel room for one week only, in the middle of not very much in Sunnyvale California. The eagerly awaited peace and quiet isn't all it was cracked up to be. Aaaaaanywaaaaay... on the flight over, passing above Greenland, I saw the most breathtaking views I've ever seen. Miles and miles and miles of snow covered mountains, seas full of icebergs, and lands covered in pure undriven snow, for as far as you could see. I spent ages gazing out the window trying to spot a polar bear. Which was ridicilous. As it would have been the size of a teeny weeny freckle from that height. A teeny weeny white freckle on white snow. Didn't stop me from looking. Especially when the alternative was a movie as dull as 'Shoot Em up'.
I've had a look for other people's photos and here's what I found. Needless to say a photo of an amazing view captures about as much as a movie of a book. But if you look at them very closely, you might just see a polar bear standing on a block of ice eating a mint.
Damien says he loves this photo by Katherine Kenny but I just had to see what it looked like without the trolley.
I'm very proud to discover that I'm top of the list on google.ie for the phrase teabagging.
Had a look around to see could I find anything amusing myself. The Wikipedia entry is tame enough but it's alightly amusing to see it recommended as relatively safe sex on teenwire.
And members of an american wrestling team were charged with a hazing (a rookie initiation) involving mass teabagging!
The Perry Bible Fellowship, BY FAR my favourite comic strip, has finally gone to print. Pre-order one now. I've got two on the way.
Christ, that's definitely the earliest I've bought a "that'll-be-a-good-christmas-present-for-someone-better-buy-two!".
Two of my favorite things share a common theme - bunnies! Donnie Darko and a book by Bill Drummond called 45. Ok, they're called Echo and the Bunnymen, so the link to Donnie Darko is pretty obvious. But another subtle link is that in 45, Drummond (who managed the Bunnymen), becomes obsessed with the album cover for Crocodiles, because by pure coincidence, the tree in the background looks like a big bunny; but no-one else he shows it too can see it.
45 is an absolute gem, it's autobiographical, but it's more like a random diary of highly amusing events between his last book, 33, which he wrote when he was 33, and 45 which he wrote at... well done! Blue Peter badge for you. If you can see the connection here, you'll expect another book at 75. 45 is full of boyish quests, poignant observations, and personal superstitions.
For some odd reason I've always had a lot more time for personal, made-up superstitions than I have for established ones (horoscopes, broken mirrors, god etc). One example of Drummond's hokery pokery is his story about drawing a magical ley line across a UK map, somehow guided by the magnetic poles and somthing to do with Elvis, then making his way along this line by foot, while concocting his own soup, in various locations, for anyone who's happy to eat it.
Anyway, chatting in work this morning, we were trying to remember the first track in the original Donnie Darko, and of course it's The Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen (a couple of minutes in, in the clip above). Of course because I saw this version first, I think it's a much better opening track, than the one used for the editors cut (Never tear us apart by INXS) and almost as good as the school scene with Head over Heels by Tears for Fears. I can watch that scene over and over, it's better than any music video, I'll refrain from adding 'ever'. These are the kind of films I love, where each scene can stand on it's own as a great piece. Mullholland drive is chocka block with these. They're especially potent when crafted around some enchanting music. Silencio!
More bunny waffle; My standard doodle is a cartoon bunny. I get bored very easily, and I always want to be 'doing' something, so I fidget and doodle a lot at meetings etc. I've drawn this bunny hundreds of times. Annuvver fing is that I tend to get carried away with things that I get into. When I was 11 I got a rabbit. One year later I had a hundred foot compound, housing about 50 different rabbits, I mixed my own rabbit food which I sold to people who had previously bought rabbits from me, and I also sold rabbits to pet shops. I had special breeding bucks that were bred to sire litters of 12 or so, rather than a standard 5 or 6. I can honestly say I had more of a disposable income when I was 12 than I do now! I also had terrapins, mice, a single pigeon, budgies, guinea-pigs, koi, a hooded crow, and a gerbil city. They say pets can help teach kids a thing or two about life, the unverse and everything. I'll say! I had to do some things that no 12 year old should have to experience, like mercy-killing sick rabbits and drowning baby gerbils born with no legs. And I still, very frequently, have dreams about rabbits burrowing their way out of the garden!
"You still wake up sometimes, don't you Clarice? You wake up in the dark and hear the screaming of the lambs. "
What a load of waffle! So much for writing about web design.
I've wanted one of these things for years but just never felt I needed one enough to splash out. So thanks to Liz, my very generous sis-in-law, sharing a bit of a windfall in the form Amazon vouchers I finally have one!
It nearly didn't happen though because Amazon have stopped delivering electronics and other bits and pieces to Ireland. I won't go into details but its been discussed at length on Michele Neylon's blog. Mucho thanks to Eadaoin for the suggestion and execution of getting it delivered to family in the North and dropping it down to the Pale.
Anyway, I started messing about straight away. Didn't really know what I was doing or wanted to do and it shows!
I think I prefer the thing I scribbled together in 3 minutes. It takes a bit of getting used to but it might be a better substitution for a mouse too. Although, the one annoying thing is that you end up holding the pen while you type. Anyway, Yeeeay new toy. I'll be having lots of fun with this and it'll make my graphical work so much easier. Thanks Liz!
Random computer thingy:
Discovered this a while ago by accident and then forgot about it. But it just happened again. I think it's because I have a dodgy keyboard with sticky keys. I probably should clean it - but the last time I took a keyboard apart to clean it, I had to type without any Ts or Us for weeks. Which was grea fn!
I haven't mentioned what I'm on about yet have I? Well here it is. If you press CTRL + ALT + any of the arrow keys on your keyboard, you can rotate your screen left or right, or flip it upside down. Mental innit? Press CTRL + ALT + UP arrow for normality. Didn't work? Must be only the newer machines. Only works in work for me. This can come in very handy if you have an upside down head.
Apparently this was just supposed to be a feature for Windows XP Tablet PC Edition but got carried through to standard intel machines.
Incidentally, I was going to add images of the shortcut keys before I caught a dose of The Laziness, but they weren't as easy to find as I'd imagined. However I did stumble across some interesting paintings of keyboard keys.
I've always loved Rice Krispie dust, so I love the last bowl in the box where all the dust is. Only recently did I discover a use for that mortar and pestle in the kitchen. Actually you don't even need the mortar just get your bowl of Rice Krispies and pestle away. Voila! Instant Krispie dust!
