Eastern Promise. (DVD)

Eastern promises is a Big bucket of steaming pish from David Kronenburg. I thought Naomi Watts would have known better - but then she doesn’t come off looking too bad working her way around a terrible script as a midwife who pockets the diary of a young Russian girl that dies giving birth. However, Vincent Cassel ( Vinz from La Haine) and Viggo Mortensen (Beardy guy from lord of the rings) are both cast as a couple of Russian Mafia clowns. They’re not supposed to be clowns but their characters are so clichéd and forced that's it's utter cringe. Why couldn’t they have just got some decent but unknown Russian actors?

The relationship between themselves and the old mafia boss is exactly like Pops from the League of Gentlemen (clip below). It was only some of the gorier scenes where Kronenburg shows that he still knows his craft - there was lots of peeking through fingers and listening for the sound of the splurting blood to stop - but he made a balls of the rest. An utter waste of a Friday night where both kids were miraculously fast asleep before dark. Avoid.

Darklight / Considine again / Movie waffle

At the risk of going on about Meadows and Considine a bit too much... (See my Considine, This is England, and Once Upon a Time in the Midlands posts)... here's one more!

I went to the darklight screening of Dead Man's Shoes last weekend. Their was an exciting buzz in the air at the IFI. I don't go to half as much stuff like this as I'd like to. I really enjoy festivals of any kind - yet I think this is the only festival-like event I've managed to get to this year, pathetic. I've seen Dead Man's Shoes a couple of times before but it was great to see it in the IFI with an appreciative audience. There wasn't a single rustle of sweet packets nor any sounds from mobile phones. Paddy Considine was supposed to introduce the film but instead it was announced that he'd do a Q&A afterwards, which was a bit dissapointing as I just knew there'd be wanky drawma students asking wanky drawma questions.

Shane Meadows is a brilliant director and Considine is a brilliant actor. They wrote Dead Man's Shoes together. So naturally its a brilliant movie. Its really funny in places and downright evil in others. Toby Kebbell is also brilliant as Considine's 'spastic brother'. He played Rob Gretton in Control, the same character who Considine played in 24 Hour Party People. There's a bit of trivia for you that's not even on IMDB yet. You read it here first. Breaking news.

I always feel a lot more connected to movies that are a bit closer to home. Grounded in a world that remotely resembles my own. I can't really connect with lots of the American films that people go on about. On a random brain scan, the first two to pop into my head that I saw recently are Blood Diamond and The assasination of Jesse James. Both highly recommended by lots of people but I thought Blood Diamond was Hollywood by numbers. And The Assassination of Jesse James was well boring and about two hours too long. Most of it was filler considering all that happened is in the title. And its tone and pace seemed to aspire to the far superior Unforgiven - but lacking in good content. Actually they're both bad examples to illustrate my point as they wouldn't be relevant to anyone's life really. But the point is that good UK movies set in modern times really strike a chord with me, whereas those set in a world I've no relation to at all, which is nearly every movie in this Must see movies of 2008 list, are usually gone from my memory as soon as the credits roll.

So back to the darklight. I'm not usually much of a fanboy but it was cool seeing Considine in person. Good idea getting him over. There's something very likeable and down to earth about him - and that comes across in most of his films. Even if he was answering wanky questions. Actually, the questions weren't so bad it's just the type of people here who ask questions at something like that. They seem to love the sound of their own voice or something.

Fitzcarraldo

I saw Fitzcarraldo a few weeks ago. It's about a crazy German dude, played by Klaus Kinski (you know, the blonde Ken Dodd?) and his attempts to setup an opera in the Peruvian rain forest while somehow coalescing (genuine) local tribesman to help him along the way. One aspect of it really struck me that sets it apart though. There comes a point where he has this idea to drag a great steamboat over a strip of land rather then around a bend in the river and through some dangerous rapids.

To achieve this they have to get the huge steamboat up a hill and down the other side. And what sets this film apart is that this hurdle presented the exact same conundrum for both the film-makers and the characters. The figuring out, the execution, the anticipation, it's all real. Forget method acting. This is method film-making, on a grand scale. This factor alone makes it well worth a watch. That just wouldn't happen these days. Would have to be done with special effects.

I'd say this would be one movie where the voice over thingies on the DVD would be really interesting. And of course Fitzcarraldo is better known for the action in-between the takes with Kinski and Herzog close to fisticuffs, and the tribesman offering to make Kinski disappear. Kerzog later made a documentary about their relationship called My Best Friend.

A bit of the old ultraviolence

Funny Games is one of those films where you get exactly what you expected to get and that’s just fine. There are a couple of cinematic tricks, and possibly some deeper ponderings about the treatment of violence in film but at its heart it’s a pretty good thriller.

It’s a classic setup with a small cast, and a small set. Though the premise is somewhat contrived, the reality of pain, both physical and mental, is treated with a bit more respect than you’re used to getting. A rich family are held captive in their splendid lakeside holiday home by two demented posh boys. They’re ever-so polite and mannered, yet sadistic little pricks, sure to be the spawn of a one night stand with Hannibal Lectre*.

The boys do their job well though; despicable at first sight in their glowing tennis shorts and punchable pouty mouths. Tim Roth and Naomi Watts are as good as ever, though there’s something about the sight of Watts’ snivelling snots and tears that’s starting to seem a bit over familiar now. She’s sure to be remembered for snots and nipples, despite her stellar performance in Mullholland.

I’ve not heard much about Funny Games before seeing it but I know it’s a remake and I’d like to see the original, which is no doubt much better - but Funny Games definitely isn’t one of those shit remakes doing the rounds.

*Erm, well, that’s if they were twins, or brothers.

Morvern Callar

Morvern Callar is an offbeat supermarket girl who takes a devastating event and spins it to her advantage. Its fairly original in style; quietly haunting and with little dialog. Random unimportant events come and go with the one big event still looming in the background. I've not seen anything else by Lynne Ramsay but she knows exactly what she's doing. She completely nails a late night house party scene, hypnotic, and enchantingly authentic. A great soundtrack heard through a walkman glues the film together and acts as the conscience Morvern lacks.

Once upon a time in the midlands

I'm a big Shane Meadows fan. Even though he's only made six films and I've only seen four. I've mentioned him once or twice before. Once Upon a Time in the Midlands is doing the rounds on Film4 so I got to see it last night. Surprisingly good considering a I heard it wasn't as good as A Room for Romeo Brass. It's a simple low budget brit flick. You know the type, an urban drama with a funny bits. It's not really a comedy but I laughed out loud at this more times than at Will Ferrel's entire back catalogue. Seems like Meadow's signature joke is cramming big beefy gangsters into tiny ridicilous cars. We had a white stretched mini and a pink Reliant Robin last night. And if you're paying attention at the back, you'll find the Spaghetti Western references pretty funny too.

It's got a great cast: Ricky Tomlinson married to Kathy Burke? Mint! and Rhys Ifans is hilarious as a wimpering boyfriend hiding from the hardman ex-husband, Robert Carlyle. Think Begbie, 10 years and 101bs later. It's a classic tale pitching an exciting but troublesome wildboy against Tim, nice but dim. Not only as lover but as father too. And it was refreshing to see the daughter played by a normal little girl. Hollywood is awash with overly cutesy girls or too-grown-up-for-their-own-good type brats on a one way road to rehab.

Some great news: Meadows and Considine have got back together again for a film called Le Donk which is currently being edited. Wotcha!

Pottering through butterflies

I found myself with a day off midweek that I didn't really need in the end, but I took it anyway. It just seemed too complicated to unbook it! So I got to potter around town. I can never decide what to do with precious moments like that (if you don't have children, you won't be able to relish just how precious they are - those moments, not the rug rats).

I remembered an announcement that the Dublin Improv Movement were looking for secret agents to turn up with some travel money and that sounded like a great adventure. But when I checked it was Thursday morning (anyone know what happened there?). Very dissapointed I resumed my pottering. Walking along Grafton street, I tried to figure out why people gave money to a woman who did nothing but paint herself gold. But at least the Spanish Goatboy with the wooden mouth wasn't around, that thing gives me the creep. I don't know if it's rooted in some Spanish folklore or what - but it should never have been allowed off the Ramblas. Please don't feed it silver. He might just go away forever.

The sun was shining, so a I bought a book and went to Stephen's Green. That's what has me halfway through a gazullion different books and to the end of none. A woman and her mother sat on the bench beside me to feed a Twix to the pigeons. One of them surprised me by perching on my shoe! I asked her to get off...and stop creating diabetic monster-pigeons.

I had a hankering to see some Art but Kilmainham was too far without car. I pottered around the Original Print gallery and then onto the Temple Bar Gallery. Niamh O'Malley's a situation, a situation, and a story was on show. I tripped over the first A situation, didn't know what to make of the Second but liked A Story. The first piece (A situation) doesn't work in the sunlight, it's a clouded image with coloured slides projected onto it. I'm sure it was great on the opening night but they need to black out the windows or move it into one of the back rooms. A story is a simple but elegantly executed allegory of butterflies and time.

From one butterfly to another, I went to see The diving bell and the Butterfly (Butterflies have to be the most common metaphors in art). It's a wonderful film, but unlike some reviews would have you believe, I did not leap from the IFI imbibed with the zest for life. I just fancied some soup. (Cafe Café Irie spoiled the run of things by not having any butterfly soup but their replacement was still yum). I found the camerawork in The Diving Bell as fascinating as the story though. They seemed to use the same kind of tilt-shift method that can be used to make fake-model photos. Like the ones I did here. In the The Diving Bell, the effect you get is a realisticly claustrophobic first-person view.

I accidentally typed castrophobic there at first. I think Freud is trying to tell me something. The family jewels will be well-guarded this weekend.

Skyrockets in flight boom tish!

Can't get this song out of my head recently. Any time I see that clip from Good Will Hunting or Anchorman I'm singing it for weeks. But now SkyRocket is being used as a project name in the office and every time I hear it, I'm that close [--] to breaking into song.

It's funny - the song is about afternoon sex (and pocket rockets) - yet The Starland Vocal band who originally recorded it look like a bunch of hippies who'd be more at home singing about tree hugging.

-----------------------------------------
Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
gonna grab some afternoon delight.
My motto's always been; when it's right, it's right.
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night.
When everything's a little clearer in the light of day.
And you know the night is always gonna be there any way.

Sky rockets in flight.Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight. -----------------------------------------

The song was inspired by a canopy of canapes labelled 'Afternoon Delights' at a Washington Restaurant. Write Bill Danoff says he's happy with the constant references in popular culture.

Obligatory Youtubes...

Starland Vocal Band - Afternoon Delight

Anchorman - Afternoon Delight

Good Will hunting - Afternoon Delight

I'd like to thank blogger for making it all so painful

Well I never. I've been shortlisted in the best newcomer category of the Irish blog Awards. Didn't expect that to happen. Oh christ, award cliches already. I'll be thanking God next. It's all awards awards awards recently isn't it? Here's the other contenders:

• K8 the GR8
• Blog the Bog
• Irish Taxi
• 73man
• nickhereandnow
• Midget Wrangler
• A Pint of Unionist Lite
• Coffee Helps
• The Friendly Farmer
• John Braine
• All Parts Included
• One for the road

On that note. I'm delighted to see This Is England raking in the awards. one of the best films in years I reckon. There's lots of great stuff on www.thisisenglandmovie.co.uk and http://www.shanemeadows.co.uk/

PSST! Pass it on.

Love this. Can you remember that childhood game you used to play where you'd fold a piece of paper in three, and one of you would draw the legs, then another the body, another the head? (Child hood game? Pretty sure I played that recently!)Well here's a video version. PSST! Pass it on is a collaboration between different teams of designers, animators, directors and 3D artists. I love the end of the clip below.

Well worth going to the Pass it on website to see the new batch in hi res.

This is England

There are some films that I just know I'm going to love the second I get a whiff of them. I saw the teaser-trailer for this ages ago and have been dying to see it since. And I wasn't disappointed. Loved it. The opening credits alone did more for me than the running length of a lot of films I've sat through. Felt like I'd just witnessed a real film.

Shane Meadows is a master craftsman. I'd love to introduce him to Iain Banks and get them to film The Wasp Factory together. So what's good about This is England? It just feels so authentic. The clothes, the hair, the nicknames, the dialog, even the mum's very bad eighty's hair. And there are some amazing performances in it too. Stephen Graham completely nails it as the nutjob, Combo. Move over Winstone, Graham is the facking daddy now, oi oi oi.

There are a lot of parallels with American History X but so much more to relate to from living this side of the planet. Look, if you love eighty's youth culture, and authentic movies dripping with naturalism, run out to see this now. Or just buy it. I'll definitely be watching this one more than a few times.

While I''m at it, I watched Harsh Times last weekend. Did this go straight to DVD? Didn't hear anything about it. Really good movie for staying in at the weekend and having a few beers. Christian Bale is in top form, as ever, playing a fucked up ex-soldier with a soft spot for Mexicans. You can see how it's going to end up from the very start but it doesn't try to hide that and it's all part of the intended build up of tension.

On the other hand, I tried to watch Terry Gilliam's Tideland recently and couldn't get into it at all. Fell asleep half way through and never bothered finishing it. Hard trying to find a decent DVD to watch on a tired Friday night that's going to keep you awake!

Bunnies!

Two of my favorite things share a common theme - bunnies! Donnie Darko and a book by Bill Drummond called 45. Ok, they're called Echo and the Bunnymen, so the link to Donnie Darko is pretty obvious. But another subtle link is that in 45, Drummond (who managed the Bunnymen), becomes obsessed with the album cover for Crocodiles, because by pure coincidence, the tree in the background looks like a big bunny; but no-one else he shows it too can see it.

45 is an absolute gem, it's autobiographical, but it's more like a random diary of highly amusing events between his last book, 33, which he wrote when he was 33, and 45 which he wrote at... well done! Blue Peter badge for you. If you can see the connection here, you'll expect another book at 75. 45 is full of boyish quests, poignant observations, and personal superstitions.

For some odd reason I've always had a lot more time for personal, made-up superstitions than I have for established ones (horoscopes, broken mirrors, god etc). One example of Drummond's hokery pokery is his story about drawing a magical ley line across a UK map, somehow guided by the magnetic poles and somthing to do with Elvis, then making his way along this line by foot, while concocting his own soup, in various locations, for anyone who's happy to eat it.

Anyway, chatting in work this morning, we were trying to remember the first track in the original Donnie Darko, and of course it's The Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen (a couple of minutes in, in the clip above). Of course because I saw this version first, I think it's a much better opening track, than the one used for the editors cut (Never tear us apart by INXS) and almost as good as the school scene with Head over Heels by Tears for Fears. I can watch that scene over and over, it's better than any music video, I'll refrain from adding 'ever'. These are the kind of films I love, where each scene can stand on it's own as a great piece. Mullholland drive is chocka block with these. They're especially potent when crafted around some enchanting music. Silencio!

More bunny waffle; My standard doodle is a cartoon bunny. I get bored very easily, and I always want to be 'doing' something, so I fidget and doodle a lot at meetings etc. I've drawn this bunny hundreds of times. Annuvver fing is that I tend to get carried away with things that I get into. When I was 11 I got a rabbit. One year later I had a hundred foot compound, housing about 50 different rabbits, I mixed my own rabbit food which I sold to people who had previously bought rabbits from me, and I also sold rabbits to pet shops. I had special breeding bucks that were bred to sire litters of 12 or so, rather than a standard 5 or 6. I can honestly say I had more of a disposable income when I was 12 than I do now! I also had terrapins, mice, a single pigeon, budgies, guinea-pigs, koi, a hooded crow, and a gerbil city. They say pets can help teach kids a thing or two about life, the unverse and everything. I'll say! I had to do some things that no 12 year old should have to experience, like mercy-killing sick rabbits and drowning baby gerbils born with no legs. And I still, very frequently, have dreams about rabbits burrowing their way out of the garden!

"You still wake up sometimes, don't you Clarice? You wake up in the dark and hear the screaming of the lambs. "

What a load of waffle! So much for writing about web design.

Considine

There's not many actors who really stand out for me but I love Paddy Considine. First saw him in 24 Hour Party People and found his little character quirks and expressions very amusing. In America wasn't really cutting edge cinema but I enjoyed it a lot more than I expected to. He nailed the lead in that, and made Samantha Morton look clumsy. Tonight I saw a bit dead man's shoes again and was reminded that I actually do have a favourite actor. This scene is great and so is Dead man's shoes. I love a good dose of revenge! De Niro can kiss my fat one. Hasn't a patch on Paddy.

This late post has been brought to you by the letters:
k-i-c-k-e-d
o-u-t
o-f
b-e-d
f-o-r
s-n-o-r-i-n-g
a-g-a-i-n!