Alien language
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I’ve encountered this odd problem for most of my adult life. Occasionally and quite often, those around me will start speaking to each other in a foreign language. Unfortunately I can only speak English. This predicament is always worse when I’m in a situation that surrounds me with new people, such as a new job, as no-one realises English is my only tongue. At the moment I daren’t go into the canteen as it’s worse than ever. I haven’t a clue what they’re talking about – I’ll just look out the window as these odd phrases whizz over my head.
Its not that they’re rude or anything, they just assume I know this language, I’m a bloke you see. It’s mandatory. I might just go in there at lunch time and get it off my chest, say something like “Lads listen, I thought I’d let you know: I can’t speak football. I’m not actually as quiet as you think I just can’t speak football… so I can’t join in the chit chat, and frankly I’m bored out of my skull listening to you lot every day.”
No I better wait for the inevitable question. “So who do you support John?” “Erm… a wife, a son, a mortgage and a cat… Oh hold on, you’re speaking football aren’t you? ah…gotcha… right… no I don’t support anyone: never had the slightest bit of interest, thanks for asking. Have you seen The Diving Bell and the Butterfly yet?”
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Such music to my.. uh.. eyes to read this! I’m thankful every day that my dad wasn’t a football nut either.
Soccer ANNOYS me. Why the hell are they paid so much anyway? What good does their profession do for mankind?! GRrrr.
agreed, this really pisses me off.
trying to listen to the radio on a Saturday afternoon is similarly crappy — there’s nothing on except for sport!
The funny thing is that Fiona is football mad. Loves her sports. She married the wrong bloke! When we get into a taxi and the taxi driver starts speaking that foreign language it’s Fiona that pipes up with the lingo. Always amusing to see the reaction that gets.
Hi Justin. Yeah I hate that. It’s the one time I’d love to hear something entertaining on the wireless. The choice is very limiting. I tend to listen to BBC radio through the telly or Internet if I’m pottering around the house. Lots more choice. Lot’s more comedy etc too.
I made sure to marry a man who’s as ignorant as myself on that game. I haven’t seen the Diving Bell… yet but, I’m sure it’d be far more interesting to talk about than football.
Some women speak a funny foreign language too, about things like Beckhams, and diets (feckin diets!!) and shoes. But it doesn’t seem to be as common as the football stuff in men.