Stuff, Wotsits and Thingies

Gran Torrino

// July 1st, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized, movies

Gran Torrino – worst movie title in ages. I avoided like swine flu until I realised it wasn’t starring Vin Diesel jumping rooftops in a fast car.

Watched it last weekendand it’s jam packed with all the racial movie cliches you can think of.  Like the all time classic “Racist guy whos’ good guy at heart and not really racist at all” and their was a brieft cameo from “white boy who likes to get down with the homies but is actually a total dork“.

But despite all that I still really enjoyed it, Clint is an especially amusing grumpy old man who had me chuckling away. He breaths some life into a predictable scribe with every cackley rasp.

He still hasn’t bettered Unforgiven by a long mile though. Now THAT is a movie.

Cheeky little fecks

// June 24th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Uncategorized

*Knock knock*

Three young wans: D’you wanna to buy a line mister?

Me: Erm, how much?

Fiver

Fiver!? What’s it for?

Erm – it’s for charidee.

Right, no sorry don’t have a fiver.

D’you have 3 euro?

Let’s see – no actually I don’t seem to have any money at the moment.

LIAR!

*SLAM*

Facebook 419 Scam

// June 23rd, 2009 // 11 Comments » // Uncategorized

Had a bit of high drama today. My Facebook account got hacked by a scammer. I got an email from Facebook asking me to confirm the change to my email address. I knew my straight away I’d been hacked. When I followed the link to cancel the email change, I couldn’t log in to Facebook.

I thought that shit only happened to other people!

While I was scrambling around trying to find the best way of reporting it, The ‘other me’ was busy chatting to all my Facebook friends telling them that I’d been mugged at gunpoint in London and I was compeltely freaked and needed money to pay for my hotel and a flight home.  The funny thing is I never chat, so it took  me a minute to even notice the chat window after I got control of my Facebook again (took about 3 hours after I reported it).

Unfortunately I didn’t think to save all the chat histories straight away, they seem to disappear when people close Facebook. One friend said the scammer got quite aggressive when she asked him how I/he knew her. Another friend sent me an email asking me something unrelated, trying to figure out if the other one was me or not, (sounds like an episode of Star Trek, with two William Shatner’s fighting each other – and you only know the real one by the hammiest acting).

Another friend, who had his suspicions right from the start  sent on his chat which was amusing enough;

hi  Ray

hey john, need help with…?

Yes

I’m stuck in London England

I feel your pain

well…I had a visit to a resort in London and i got mugged

no way

it was so scary and i have been freaked out

where are you now?

I lodged in a hotell but im in a library as we speak

I have contacted the Irish Embassy but they told me to get a flight ticket back to Ireland

the problem now is that the cash i got on me for my return ticket got stolen….

I need your help?

you want me to buy a London to Dublin ticket for you?

Don’t bother about that…you can just have the money sent to me and I’ll sort everything out by myself

you want me to wire you cash?

Yes

Reason…I got to settle the hotel bills and the hotel accept cash for now cos their credit card machine is faulty

so where should I send the money?

alright…you can have it sent to my name and my present location

John Braine….United Kingdom

do I not need more details?

you don’t need more…that is all you need

Do you know any western union outlet nearest to you?

how do I send it, western union or something?

sure…Western Union

I don’t need to give an office number, or anything like that?

you don’t need that

how will I know if it gets to you?

as soon as you have sent the money, they will issue you a confirmation

so you will send me the confirmation and I’ll use it to pick up the money at the western union outlet

cool

okay

Do you know any western union outlet nearest to you?

it will probably be a few hours, I’ll have to go on my lunch

okay

when will you be back? cos i might not be online on FB…

you can just drop me a message via email address

here’s my email address below

jbraine7454@yahoo.com

cool

okay

How much can you afford to loan me?

200 euros?

I need 500 euros…

I promise to return it as soon as im back in town

I think I’ll get a ham sandwich for lunch

Slane, the Facebook verdict

// June 21st, 2009 // 3 Comments » // Uncategorized

This always makes me laugh. Two consecutive & conlicting items in my Facebook feed:

My pet plug

// June 21st, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

My pet plug
, originally uploaded by
jbraine.

Psychoville

// June 19th, 2009 // 5 Comments » // tv

I was a total League of Gentleman fanboy. Best thing on telly on years. There’s been plenty of decent comedy over the years but it’s just that added twist of the macabre that really made it. And the characters were brilliant, otherworldly yet all too familiar. I did this little project a few years ago using a scene from the League of Gentlemen movie, and while this photo was taken I uttered the revered catchphrase You’re my wife now. So I’ve earned my fanboy stripes.

Well they’re back! With Psychoville. Well, two of the three gentlemen are back, it’s a pity Mark Gatiss is absent. The first episode was on last night it was off to a good start. It’s the same style as League of Gentlemen, great characters, great set design, with just a dose more ‘murder, mystery, suspense!’. Of the new characters, I think the scary clown is a bit obvious – my favourites are David and Maureen, a mummy and her special little boy in an altogether wholesome relationship.

The first episode was a good opener for a long running story and I can’t wait to see where it goes.

BBC2 10pm Every Thursday.

Friday links

// June 19th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // Uncategorized

• Biggest fish ever caught with a fishing rod, a 6 gilled shark. WOWZA!
• For some reason, the most amusing  photoshop disasters involve race. There was that time the Sun removed a Rasta dude from a boat, this week meet token he’s FUN!
• If you like movies, there’s a great game on the Empire site, very nicely done.
• One “Elizabeth J Becton” no less, goes crazy paranoid after someone calls her Liz in an email. Hi liz!
• I was pondering buying a hamster, now I just have to get one, no ifs no maybes.
• Mike Tyson is in that new Hangover movie. I didn’t add his 3 frames to my previous post, but I did give him some maracas.

3 frames

// June 18th, 2009 // 5 Comments » // Uncategorized

This is one from the I wish I’d thought of that but it’s still fun to copy category: Take 3 frames from a movie and make an animated gif.

If you’re going to have a go, don’t go looking for your favourite old movies on youtube, it’s harder to do, and doesn’t look half as good, go for the HD Apple trailers.

Begrudgery

// June 17th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // random, rant

Ever see a stereotype played out to such perfection, that it’s almost comical? Almost. Take this display of begrudgery for instance.

Loud drunk asshole in Chipper:
“So I’ve taken up acting, yes I’m very grand indeed”.

Guy from Fair City, also doing a great job in The Shawshank play;
[Solemly waits for his chips].

Loud drunk asshole in Chipper:
“I’ve started working in the Gaeity recently, I am so much better than all of you”.

Guy from Fair City, also doing a great job in The Shawshank play;
[Solemnly waits for his chips].

Loud drunk asshole in Chipper:
“Oh I love the sound of my own voice, love to shout it from a stage”. (The irony is completely lost on him)

Guy from Fair City, also doing a great job in The Shawshank play;
[Gets his chips, pays politely and leaves quietly]

Loud drunk asshole in Chipper:
[Shouts some direct insults at the guy]

Nope, no begrudgery in ireland, don’t know what you’re talking about, stop that stereotyping.

Small ad

// June 11th, 2009 // No Comments » // random

The Tale of how

// June 10th, 2009 // No Comments » // art, news, video

Stunning animation by the Black Heart Gang, almost looks like a Bosch or Brueghel painting brought to life. The making of is well worth a look too. It’s only one part of a three part series, you can buy the whole package as a book / dvd.

The Tale of How from Shy the Sun on Vimeo.

Awesome sauce

// June 9th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // news, photoshop

The Xbox Awesome sauce finally worked. Congratulations!

Sleepies

// June 8th, 2009 // No Comments » // art, drawing

I always manage to make use of the sketchbook at least once on the summer hols.

A hero speaks

// May 26th, 2009 // 6 Comments » // atheism, rant

I can’t believe this only has 1000 or so views on youtube. Everyone should see this.  Michael O’Brien unleashes a heartfelt anger on questions and answers expressing the rage that the nation are feeling. I don’t think I could do this issue justice without resorting to spitting, fuming and cursing. I am absolutely outraged at every aspect of this. How does one organise a nationwide march? How the goverment and The Catholic Church in Ireland are dealing this will place them in history alongside the Holocaust.

Watch, vent, cry, pass on.

Bye Blogger!

// May 25th, 2009 // 7 Comments » // blogging, web, web design

Have been meaning to move from the piece of shit Blogger over to Wordpress for ages now. The only thing that was delaying me was that I wanted to re-design the whole site but could just never get around to it. So I grabbed the irrestable theme instead. It’ll sure do for now. I think most things are working but I’ll probably be tinkering with it for a while. Hope the feed is working as it was, guess we’re just about to find out…

Dance wiv me

// May 21st, 2009 // 5 Comments » // flash, photos, random, video

You know when you’re flicking through your camera and you see two shots that were taken in quick succession and it looks like a little animation and you sit there for a while making the people dance? No!? well I’m always at it. Thought I’d add some music to this one…

Le Cool

// May 21st, 2009 // 6 Comments » // random

It’s been a while since I’ve had any interest in gig listings filling in my inbox. But I’ve just subscribed to a new email weekly listing called Le Cool that’s not just music; comedy, family events, movies, arty stuff and any other cultural events. Check it out / subscribe at lecool.com/cities/dublin.

Disclaimer: Wouldn’t post if I didn’t like it but yes I do know one of the promoters. And he’s one of the friendliest people I know. And that get’s extra bonus points from me.

5 Great music videos featuring robots

// May 20th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // music, videos

Bjork – All is full of love

Secta Chameleon – More than a feelin’

Flight of the Conchords – The humans are dead

Beck – Hell yes

Herbie Hancock – Rockit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nK0Pi4wC8Hk

Coldcut – JDJ (70 minutes of madness)

// May 18th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // music

I was listening to the radio the other day and I heard this little sample that gave me a mad craving to hear Coldcut – JDJ “70 minutes of madness”. Then I realised it was so frigging long since I listened to it, that the last time I heard it was on cassette. A tape that I once listened to over and over and over, a gazillion times. A tape that’s now buried deep in the arctic somewhere – ie the attic. I mentioned this on Twitter off the cuff and had several kind offers to get me a copy. I’m listening to it now and it’s still the best mix I’ve ever heard, hands down.

I’ve always been a big fan of a well worked mix. Off the cuff mixes obviously have their charm, but I was always a bigger fan of DJ’s who put a huge amount of time into perfecting their mixes to admittedly obsessive levels, whether it’s finding that perfect record or the perfect sample or the perfect scratch… or any other trick, I’ve always loved hearing that fantastically carved blend of sounds that compliment each other perfectly. Much more that a traditional album.

And 70 minutes of madness is a proper *mix*, not just one boring style from beginning to end. They took the JDJ (Journeys by DJ’s) mantra and smacked the bitch up. It’s on Amazon but if you’ve not yet heard it don’t go and spoil it by listening to separate tracks. Most definitely the sum of the parts here dude.

Latifah! The feminine professor of Wits, Coldcuts on the mix. And it ticks us off when we see so much wrong World, what’s goin on!?

The Shawshank Redemption

// May 16th, 2009 // 6 Comments » // Uncategorized

I’ve been to far too few plays in my life. Something I’d love to remedy but time and money can be impeding factors. So I’m not exactly equipped to review plays. However, several things I learned tonight.

• Watching a play at the very back of the Gaiety is like watching a play of people watching a play
• Sitting behind a fat head can ruin a play
• In no way is it a given that a play will be better than the film in the way a book is
• Unless you can afford the good seats, plays are best experienced in small venues
• Keeping your head at a 45 degree angle for two hours can be very sore

I truly wish I was better at enjoying things I really should enjoy rather than letting the little things spoil experiences much more than they should.