Stuff, Wotsits and Thingies

Not worth the paper it’s printed on

// January 26th, 2010 // 4 Comments » // Uncategorized

halifax, originally uploaded by jbraine.

See full size.

Life password overhaul

// January 22nd, 2010 // 10 Comments » // web

So you’ve been building up a long list of login/passwords for years now and most likely use a life password for a lot of sites, like most people who don’t want to be driven crazy trying to remember a 100 different passwords. Most sensible people will have a unique secure password for their email, ebay and Paypal.  But then one day, you hear a site you use has had their database hacked, like boards.ie yesterday.

In my case, it was computerbits that was hacked last year, which resulted in someone hijacking my Facebook account and begging my friends for money.

So don’t take it too lightly, even silly sites like Facebook can be dangerous. My Facebook password was the same as the computerbits password. Then I changed every password I could think of, and every now and then I’d think of another site that may have used the same login & password that I was very glad the hackers hadn’t tried yet. Like a lot of ecommerce sites.

It’s a major pain in the cojones, but I’d recommend setting aside a couple of hours and changing all your passwords in one go, rather than changing them one by one as you remember, possibly months later for some forgotten sites. Here’s a list to jog your memory, starting with the obvious.

• Gmail / workmail
• Paypal
• Facebook, Twitter, Flickr, Skype, LinkedIn, youtube, (social networking list)
• Wordpress, Blogger, Blacknight
• Amazon, Play, Pixmania, Dell (Top 50 uk etailers)
• Ticketbastard
• ebay
• 02 / Vodafone
• Your ISP / broadband supplier
• Screenclick / Moviestar
• itunes
• Windows logon / network passwords
• Remote backup
• boards.ie, yahoo groups, creative ireland, askaboutmoney, imdb etc

Then search your email account for ‘password’ and see if you find some more. And also try an email search for your actual life password(s).

Something else you can try is: Open your browser and type the letter ‘a’, and your most used sites for ‘a’ will drop down; scan the list and see if any of the sites need your attention.  Then continue through the alphabet.

But before you start the overhaul, have a look at some options for securely storing a variety of passwords, rather than using a new life password. I’d highly recommend the Firefox plugin sxxipper for remembering your passwords and it also makes it very easy to login to sites with one click. You can also use it to generate random secure passwords. Or start using a Password manager like keepass (or 1pass for mac users) which will keep all your passwords secure in one place and you only have to remember one master password.

Live@talkGOD.com pranks

// January 21st, 2010 // No Comments » // funny, video

I just might take this up as a hobby. First, here’s the Fresh Prince prank:

Here’s the full letter that was sent in:

I was born in West Philadelphia and also raised there. I spent most of my days playing basketball on a playground – but also chilling out and relaxing. But then one day a couple of guys who were up to no good starting making trouble in my living area. I ended up getting into a fight, which terrified my mother. As a result she sent me away from West Philadelphia to the most peaceful area of Bel Air to live with my Auntie. On my journey to Bel Air, I whistled for a cab but it was noticable that the cab driver was not licensed. I ignored my concerns and told him to make haste to Bel Air. We arrived at the house some time between seven and eight pm and I was glad to see the back of the cab driver. I looked at the house and I was very impressed with the quality of living that my auntie possessed. I realised that I could get used to this lifestyle.

However, whatever was missing in my life when I lived in West Philadelphia was still there. I felt no happier, although everything was indicating that I should. My auntie took me to church that sunday. I hadn’t been for several years. And I had a wonderful chat with so many beautfiul people. For the first time in my life I felt complete. I was finally there. To sit next to Jesus on his throne as the prince of heaven.

God Bless,
Keira

And then a Rick Roll.

Robot

// January 18th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized, blogging, photos

Robot, originally uploaded by jbraine.

Test post for posting to Wordpress directly from Flickr. Was driving me crazy getting this set up. If you have trouble getting this working this might be the problem:

Go to wordpress Settings page > Writing, then select the checkbox beside “enable XML-RPC”.

Cooking some fish

// January 17th, 2010 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

I’m in love with The XX

// January 16th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // music

I really can’t remember the last time I was so obsessed with an album, but I absolutely adore XX. I even thought I had come of an age where music couldn’t touch me in the way that it used to but I’m glad that’s not true. In fact I think that may just be part of the attraction. People have commented on how young The XX are, but I think that maybe exactly what draws me to it. Any time I’m listening to it it somehow reminds me of being twenty years old, and all the nostalgic melancholy and excitement attached to that era. I’ve a major teenage crush on XX.

I’ve never heard such a grower either. I had the album in the weeks coming up to Electric Picnic and saw them live that weekend – but it hadn’t at all got under my skin in the way it has now. In fact hearing all the fuss about them back then, I expected something really exciting but on first listen it actually sounds a little dull. But don’t let that fool you. Give it half a chance and it really sneaks up on you.

http://thexx.info/

Hallelujah!

// January 14th, 2010 // 9 Comments » // atheism

Hallelujah! It’s official. The final piece of documentation has arrived. “Dear Mr. Braine, I wish to inform you that your request to cease from membership of the Catholic Church by a formal act of defection has been recognised”.

I feel I should mark the occasion. Bookend the event with a special ceremony. An unwrite of passage. I know, I’ll buy an uncommunion suit and call around to my friends and neighbours, giving them cards with money inside so they can feel part of the celebration.

Or maybe just hold on to the money and drop into Cumiskey’s for a pint.

Watching Nemo

// December 15th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // photos

Sitecaddy

// December 8th, 2009 // No Comments » // design, web design

I recently re-designed the company website: www.sitecaddy.com, which has gone live along with a special offer; free hosting, content management and marketing tools for a year. The free offer is worth about €1500. The consultation and design isn’t free; the signing up to the special offer requires a depost of 1k, so if you know anyone looking for a website, here’s a good chance.

More details of the special offer here: http://info.sitecaddy.com/mysitecaddy/site3/offerirla.htm

The Juicy Fruit kid

// December 7th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // music

I’ve had this terrible habit for years. I’ll just come right out with it:

Hi my name’s John and I like to chew on a Juicy Fruit while drinking beer.

Scandalous, I know. My dentist would have palptations at the thought of it. The habit started off like many a teenager, not yet acquired to the taste of alchohol. I love a pint now but when I’m in the pub, I always have a packet of Juicy’s in my pocket.

According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juicy_Fruit:

The average age of the typical Juicy Fruit consumer is under 20, with 3- to 11-year-olds making up the heart of the business; those 20 years old and over account for 40 percent of the purchases. John Braine, aka The Juicy Fruit Kid makes up about 10 percent.

Great to discover today that they’ve written such a sexy song about me:

Via http://haroldsatticradio.com/?p=195

Ticketbasturdz stealin’ ma ink!

// November 25th, 2009 // 18 Comments » // Uncategorized

Maybe I’m just bit of stingey bastard – but coloured ink cartridges ain’t cheap. I buy ink every now and then and it seems to disappear in a blink. So I just go without for a while, and eventually get around to buying some more. And then I try not to use it unless I really need to, rare commodity that it is in these tough times. I doubt I’m alone in that ink buying cycle.

And then ticketbastards come along and steal my last bit of ink. With Ads. FUCKING ADS. They even state that the whole page must be printed – with the ads sandwiched between the two barcodes. I think it’s fucking scandalous. I can’t even remember picking a print-my-own-tickets option. And THEY charge ME €4.20 service charge per page. I should be charging them. They’re not even for me. They’re for a mate with no credit card / computer. I already knew they were bastards but this is really taking the piss.

142,000 search results for the word TICKETBASTARDS. That’s really saying something.

Print fun

// November 24th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // art, design, photos

I haven’t really done much print design but the Missus had her 40th a couple of weeks ago and I had a bit of fun printing a few things for the party. Got a bit carried away actually, it was almost like a branded event in the end. I did invitations, a kid’s t-shirt, a window decal, stickers and a bib! Mostly via cafepress.

Will code for cake

// November 19th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Uncategorized

Got a dose of good and bad Karma one day a couple of weeks ago. The doorbell rang and this mysterious package was delivired in person, with instructions to leave it in the fridge for the day:

So exactly 24 hours later, I unwrapped the package…

Oooh chocolate biscuit cake. Mysterious lady with your mysterious package, you know me so well!

And with that I broke the eject button on the camera and the memory card got stuck. So two weeks later and a I pair of pliars here’s a late post to say thanks a mil to Jo. I really did very little to help with http://friendsofbreastfeeding.blogspot.com/ but it was worth every single bite. Thanks!

Photoshop disaster

// November 13th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // photoshop

Funny. If you go to http://www.rte.ie/arts/2009/0302/nichofaighb.html you can see Bláthnaid Ni Chofaigh and her evil Photoshop twin side by side. (Depending on which banner is currently showing )

Costa Rican Ricky

// October 30th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Uncategorized, photos

I was going to do a quick Photo Friday post and had a look through my flickr and came to this one:

But every photo has a story. That’s Ricky on the right, and his apprentice on the left. Ricky is a guide. He brought us through a Costa Rican jungle pointing out different insects, birds and animals. What you can eat, what can eat you, that kind of thing. Our very own Ray Mears. I absolutely loved it. Great day. The highlight of the honeymoon. Here’s some more pics from that day:

And here’s a photo of the treehouse we stayed in. (http://www.costaricatreehouse.com) which was fantastic.

See: Full Honeymoon flickr set for more.

Friday links on Saturday

// October 24th, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Was going to post this yesterday but never got to finish it.

Giant Seagull walks behind news anchor

Peter Serafinowicz cracks me up. Whether you use Twitter or not check out http://twitter.com/serafinowicz.

• “My great uncle was so stubborn, when he died, he left a won’t.”
• “Cling-film = Ghost-foil”
• “What part of ‘understand’ don’t you comprehend?”
• These days, Scooby Doo’s pal is known as ‘Saggy’

And I love Anthony Hopkins recalling his favourite moments from The Excorcist

Jon LaJoie has been doing the rounds again recently. Maybe because he was on rudetube last week. His Regular Everyday Normal guy is great:

And finally The drunkest guy ever gets remixed:

The Shining

// October 17th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // Uncategorized

What a masterpiece. I’m sure when I saw this as a younglet I enjoyed the story, and Kudos to Stephen King for that. Or maybe I just enjoyed the ’scary movie’. But I’ve seen it many times since and relished in the craftmanship. Nicholson is stunning, that’s a given. But the imagery and soundtrack combine as a total feast for the senses. Utterly compelling. A real work of art. Kubrick deserves to be right up there with Rembrandt if you ask me.

Not surprising that that iconic image is one of the first things I painted years ago.

Ouch!

// October 8th, 2009 // 3 Comments » // Uncategorized, random

Haven’t listened to New Forms in years but took it out recently and remebered that the CD always looks like a cartoon character who just got a kick in the nuts.

Which reminds me, the icon on power buttons, always look like an icon for someone giving the finger.

image borrowed from www.contrast.ie

So remember, next time you go to turn something off, it’s giving you the finger!

The great sugar experiment of 2009

// September 23rd, 2009 // 10 Comments » // Uncategorized

As I’m sure you’ve all long suspected, sachet’s of sugar are not quite what they purport to be; a spoonful of sugar. Here at Braine labs, we took 12 typical specimens and measured them up against the real deal, a spoonful of sugar. Some did better than others but not a single one contained as much sweetness as a proper spoonful. Let’s survey the evidence.

Not quite as obvious spoon by spoon, but add them all up and put them side to side…

Yes my friends. As you suspected, there is only about half A SUGAR in most sachets. They’re trying to trick that sweet sweet tooth of yours, it’s nothing but a ruse!

So the next time you’re in the canteen making a nice brew, and you’ve just poured two sachets into your cuppa… and someone goes “OOH OOH, Two sugars! Ugh. How can you!?”. You can say “Oi! No! That’s ONE sugar! I take it you haven’t heard of the great sugar experiment of 2009 yet? No? Well let me show you, but first allow me to stick this spoon up your judgemental crack and see how sweet you look.“

Nom nom

// September 21st, 2009 // No Comments » // Uncategorized

Anna loves her nom nom. Always asking for it. Her first words were pretty much NOM NOM NOM NOM. Tried to get a better video of it but this’ll do.

Travors minus Travors

// September 18th, 2009 // 6 Comments » // Uncategorized, photoshop

See original.

See original.

See original.

See original.

See original.

See original.

I wonder what percentage of you won’t have a clue what this is about. You have seen Garfield minus Garfield haven’t you?

The great quest

// September 10th, 2009 // 5 Comments » // Uncategorized

I walked for many miles, with aching bones, creaking below my now lesser mass. Eventually my destination peaked over the horizon and gave me hope. The journey was shorter than it seemed, but it weighed heavy on my weary soul. As I grew closer my legs gave way. I crawled through the entrance and collapsed upon the canvas floor.

For a moment in time, I didn’t stir. The eve before,  slumber seemed but just a blink, sleep had merely kissed these pallid cheeks but woke me with the brush of her sweet lips.

And now, the evening after, near the end of my great quest, she embraced me, but no! I couldn’t sleep now. My mission wasn’t over, only midway. I clutched the treasure to my bosom, then placed it within my satchel. At last the child would receive the sacred cloth and be at peace.

I battled many demons on my way back. I had to step over some bodies who didn’t make it. A time later, at the end of my long  journey, I reached the queen.  And the child. The queen, who could not partake in the massive journey, for she was with child once again, eagerly sought the treasure with her eyes. It was only then that I realised, with a dawning horror that the sacred cloth was missing it’s counterpart, and would not pacify the child.

“BALLSACKS! I forgot the FUCKING wipes! Jesus! Yes I got the nappy! but I left the fucking wipes in the tent. FUCK!”

And so it was, we started the epic journey of aching legs, from the far end of Electric picnic to the campsite. I changed the nappy, got kids ready for bed. Got ready for bed myself.

And she says to me “What d’you think you’re doing!?”

“Climbing into that sleeping bag, before I collapse from sleep deprivation, and way too much walking for an unfit fucker like me!”

“What about Madness? You really wanted to see Madness!”

“There’s no way I’m going back out there! I told you, that was an epic journey for me!”

But  I was eventually convinced to put my wellies and my coat back on and traipse back out there.

I trundled on like a zombie, with aching limbs. “Gotta go to Madnesss, gotta go to Madness. gotta go to Madness”.

And THAT is how I managed to miss what by all accounts sounded like, a brilliant extravaganza of musical fun; Chic.

But I had a one track mind. Gotta go to Madness. Gotta go to Madness.

This is the song I walked by at the time.

Yes you read correctly. I could see and hear that but still kept walking, repeating the Madness mantra, and made it to the main stage. And that was that!

Madness were good fun too. But I had to endure 40 minutes waiting for the hits, when I could have been freaking out to Chic!

Incidentally, the highlight of my weekend was the having-the-craic type Galway band The Timber Tramps, and singing along to great covers like Personal Jesus. Maybe I’ll justgo to Galway next year.

Great expectations

// September 2nd, 2009 // 1 Comment » // films

United 93 was on telly tonight. I can remember being blown away by this movie when it came out. For me, expectation can really make or break or a movie. This was a year that I had an unlimited ticket to UCG, and I’d often just walk in and take a chance on something that looked good and started soon.

That day was slim pickings, I went for what I thought was the best of a bad bunch. It was also what I thought would be some crap schmaltzy 911 hero movie. But I was completely taken by surprise.

No schmaltz. Very minimal but effective score. Very realistic acting. No big stars, and a lot of the airport controllers were the real thing, not actors. A few even played  themselves, including the main flight control guy, Ben Sliney who’s great in it.

And the tension very slowly but greatly builds, I can remember feeling like I was on that plane by the end. And was almost in shock come the ultimatum. Brilliant movie.

Doesn’t quite have the same impact on a small screen and the intrusions that come with it. And if you haven’t seen it yet I’ve probably spoilt it just by telling you how great it is.

Map of Africa

// August 27th, 2009 // 4 Comments » // music

I’m very surprised I never hear any mention of this album, Map of Africa by Map of Africa. I’ve had it a couple of years now and it’s been my staple driving album all that time. I’m not too sure what makes good driving music but this is great in the car.

It’s psychedelic funky rock, but I’d bet my bottom dollar these guys earned their chops on the electronic side of the park before going anywhere near a guitar or microphone. For some reason it always reminds me of Apocalypse Now; just as he’s chugging down the river, with strange birds chirping and something other lurking in the shadows, this would be the perfect soundtrack.

The lyrics sizzle too;

Dirty Lovin’
“Once or maybe twice a day
Dirty lovin’ baby it’s okay,
I like it straight around the bend,
Enough for me and both my friends”

Plastic Surgery
And I look more like my daugther
Then a dirty old man oughta
Cos I’ve had plastic surgery

These aren’t the best two tracks, they’re the only two I could find.

Not much about them on the web, their myspace page is as dead as their record label.

I love this flyer

// August 24th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Uncategorized

Spot the frisbee

// August 19th, 2009 // 22 Comments » // photoshop, random

Spot the frisbee I’m waiting to catch, by leaving a letter/number comment and win a special prize. The frisbee has been digitally removed by a hoard of rare golden photoshop monkeys.

NB: Special prize may be one of three dead Bonsai threes. Or a half eaten book on how to keep Bonsai trees alive.

UPDATE:
Ok, here the original image.

The answer was D16. Thanks for playing! Alex was the closest with D17. I’ll put you down for an IOU pint.

Party’s over

// August 7th, 2009 // No Comments » // films

Update: This clip wasn’t available at the time but someone put it up recently. Maybe this post will make sense now. A classic scene from 80’s teens.

Remember to floss kids!

// August 5th, 2009 // 8 Comments » // waffle

Not sure this makes for an interesting blog post but it’ll take my mind off it for the next ten minutes. I’ve had the most horrible few days and nights. Started getting a pain in my tooth on Friday. It got worse. Insanely so. It got me up early Saturday and Sunday. I think that’s the last time I slept.

I spent the entirety of last night pacing back and forth, moaning and groaning, trying to distract myself with movies when I could stay still, and the Wii when I couldn’t. I’ve never known such a severe unrelenting pain. I’m pretty sure removing the lower half of my face would be less painful.

I went through three boxes of painkillers over the weekend and they did nothing. I coldnt wait for the long weekend to be over. I got an emergency dentist appointment this morning, or make that yesterday morning if you’ve had a night’s sleep. Half of my mouth has an infection. So antibiotics and hardcore Ponstan are the order of the day, that’s more like it.

But even the Ponstan just take the edge for a little while though. This is fucking crazy insane pain. I can’t sit still or stop grimacing. Yesterday I seemed to develop Tourrettes; randomly shouting, clapping, banging my feet, pulling faces. Anything to try and distract from the pain. And exhaustion.

I thought I’d be out cold tonight not having slept a wink last night. I thought I wouldn’t be able to keep my eyes open. But nope. Here I am again, day 5, in the house of pain, 3:50am, wandering around like a sleep deprived zombie. I’ve already taken two days worth of Ponstan tonight.

Oddly enough, I haven’t been out of work yet. I managed the best part of a day’s work yesterday when I got back from the dentist. The distraction of working, when I could bear it, was as good as any other. Of course I couldn’t handle this if I worked in a regular office and not from a home office. Imagine me in a regular office; walking around grimacing, randomly barking over the pangs of pain and rocking back and forth at my desk. No, that wouldn’t do.

And here’s the thing. I went to the dentist with the exact same complaint 3 years agao, and he referred me to a specialist to have it removed. I was on a waiting list all that time and now I’m back on it! Wtf!? So hopefully the Antibiotics will clear the infection up soon enough (again!).

Well that killed twenty minutes. Might as well publish it. Then I’ll get back to the zombie shuffle. Or I might writhe around the bed for a few more hours wondering if when I can take more Ponstan. Woe is me etc etc…

The Taking of Peckham 123

// July 31st, 2009 // No Comments » // films, photoshop

Smile of a stranger

// July 28th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // waffle, writing

Book in hand I open the front door and the sun burns a smile on to my face. I glance to the left as I lock the door and catch the eye of a guy walking down the terrace path. He’s young, early twenties, not Irish, maybe Polish. I turn to the right and head to the canal for my hour of solace. His footsteps behind me are silent, like mine, the Nike generation.

I cross the road, one turn left, one turn right and I am alone on the street that leads to the canal. As I cross a final road, a guy appears from the right and walks in front of me. He’s young, early twenties, not Irish, maybe Polish. He stops at a door and turns to the right as he inserts the key. He catches my eye and smiles. I smile back, and nod to acknowledge the joke of our mirrored exchange.

He’s younger than I thought I ponder. Give him a few more years and he’ll stop smiling at strangers. Strangers who will easily, and understandably miss such subtleties, and strangers who will think him strange for smiling. But I cherish the moment, and the canal is all the more soothing that day.